Saturday, June 24, 2017
I have a significantly harder time doing speaking videos, and speaking in general, compared to how I used to be. Before, I could translate, structure .. Now, it just kind of "falls" out of me in a more disorganized fashion. In speech that is. It's getting harder to organize my speech, and in relation to Chiari malformation/CCI symptoms a person in a support group once described "talking like a waterfall" .. that's sort of how it feels. I used to have this problem a little, but now, it's more profound. Frustrating. Lots of editing/jump cuts in videos. I've been putting a few vids together but I don't think I want to do this principally/ Things can still can look good when finished, but this is just really fork heavy. I don't know if I can do too much of it. Other stuff I must do will suffer.
Other stuff I do, also, is not as affected. My music/arts, and oddly my writing (blogging) has become more focussed, structured, and succinct, than it was before. It used to be more of the opposite. Weird. So I do think focussing on music/arts in person/fronting it with a face, and blogging for the activism, is best. Like a moth to a flame I try to do videos, but I think after these few I'll have to put a nail in it, and limit it to like once a month.
I do think the "waterfall speech" i'm experiencing though is indicating my neuro/spinal situations' getting worse. Because I'm autistic, with more sensitive neurology/cognition in response to illness affects, this is likely to be more profound..though it depends. There are non autistic EDSers who have suffered pretty profound neurological affects too. Apparently when CCI keeps progressing it causes neurological damage along with it. I hope it's reversible. But I think I need to incorporate gentle neuro-rehab activities into my gentle physio, to try and keep the oils wheeled as best as possible. Sighs.