Monday, May 15, 2017

Let this happen as it's meant to happen

March 6, 2017
I just saw a post from someone on the EDS groups "keeping count of all those who are passing lately, RIP ladies" or something like that .. People are passing away in EDS groups, and a lot of them apparently. Seriously. NO....But yes. It's really happening.
I am just bawling. I'm so scared for all of us .. I need to stay here because I need do to something about this. I'm on thin ice myself. I have no way to know if I'm safe, among the medical system I am currently stuck with. I'm planning to do something. I have serious mission to do. Body. Please let me STAY here to do it..for the sake of my family and for the sake of this mission and for the sake of I DO NOT FEEL DONE.
I've always I'm supposed to do something. It can't not happen. I need to stop this. I am supposed to be a part of stopping it. Or is that all a lifelong illusion...
I don't care who thinks that makes me think I'm "special" but I have to be here. Damn it. Magick be with me. I would have died last year had I not worked my ass off, with the help of spirit through people, through the go fund me helping me replenish my near-corpse-ness and breathe life into it again, and my internist agreed to order infusions and prescribe me Creon (prescription pancreatic enzyme)  which was actually my idea, on a hunch. It was a shot in the dark but it worked. I was on a path to gawd knows where.. somewhere scary... but herbs and magick and love and prayer - and Creon - brought me back.
Thank God for my own intense intuition, and for those who helped me and supported me. I think I have some more time now but I am not nearly out of the woods. My heart still acts weird as do many things. My neck is becoming unstable, my lower head pressure is rising. I know I'm developing a full chiari and AAI instability ...Tick tick tick be on my side. God be on my side. Luck be on my side. Or let this happen as it is meant to happen and help me not be afraid. THIS NEEDS TO STOP HAPPENING TO PEOPLE. There will be more deaths. This is like a modern black plague of a different kind. I hope it will end. We need the Renaissance. Let it come soon. Pray. So Mote It Be.
 - Rosie G 

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