Monday, May 15, 2017
"If I am wrong, educate me"
This is a wonderful and virtuous concept to remember. Much conflict can be prevented this way, and in fact, positive change is more likely to happen when we refrain from barking at people for being unaware, but patiently and politely though staunchly, and even assertively if/when needed, educate them. Sometimes it may be frustrating, when you want someone to be aware, but we must remember their ignorance may not be their fault. After we try to educate, of course, it's out of our control. The others' response is out of our control, and time may be needed for something to sink in, on the part of the other. Or, it may never sink in - but the part we can do for the situation is to try, and give it a good effort, not one that will only backfire by causing further discordance. However, if we give it a good effort and there's discordance anyway, that's when we can use our boundaries. It's the others' problem then. Some people are very stubborn, in disagreement, or have cognitive dissonance. Always their issue. However, Nonviolent communication can still be staunch and assertive and hold boundaries for the one exercising it. This is challenging to do, especially when feelings of frustration and PTSD are involved in it, but it's possible, and likely to have more positive, balanced effects.