Friday, September 16, 2016

Blue flower givers don't matter

(you can find Twisted Angels' page on FB)

Twisted angel is on the money. This rings true for many of us I think. I find this happens a lot to strong- spirited people .. It sort of reminds me of the movie Zootopia.. You know when the prey animals were giving the predator ones blue flowers, so that they'd go crazy and look bad, so that they could discriminate against them. I try my best to stay away from those people these days (not always easy when this might involve family members.) I really have no energy to be triggered, but sometimes, we may experience this behaviour inevitably.
I still sometimes hear about certain people talking about me negatively, referring to less-than-ideal ways in which I behaved when I was hurting, messed up and didn't know what was going on for me, and trying to use it against me to hurt me today. Who has experienced that? You're not alone.
Such things do happen when we choose to be in recovery mode, whether it be from mental/spiritual affliction, addiction/s, or both etc.. but we may be still inevitably attached to people who continue to resent and want to hurt us (often via blood family, or having kids with exes, etc..) Like the meme says, these are people who are sick themselves, not wanting to take *any* responsibility for *their* part in the hurt that they may have caused for you.
The medical system originally tried to pull this one on me also (to victim-blame me) when I proved them wrong (and, they may still try at the tribunal hearing re: my case, when it comes up.) You know, given my position now, it's ultimately very cruel of them, but that's on them - and I know that. God knows that. We have to be prepared to mentally condition ourselves to rise above sh*t like this, should it come up. Perhaps stand up initially if absolutely necessary, but don't stay and fight, walk away. It's on them. They know it deep down.
In retrospect too, I *do* have some actual, true, good people in my life... and I'm sure other "strong spirited" folks who may relate with this meme *also* do have true friends who they can count on to not judge them or mess with them.
I myself have to acknowledge this in order to balance this meme. I am so very grateful for *true* friends who would never intentionally toy with me and/or rile me up, and then when I'm riled up go and blame it on me citing "see, she is psycho, right?" ie. being passive aggressively narcy and abusive... because they're good hearted, virtue-conscious, astute people who know and care about important, humanistic concepts and see my true heart, albeit beneath the shield of armour, for what it is.
These are friends who know that if you may, at times, be pushed to bark, it's not a bite, but an expression of pain - So they look past that and love you for you for you, unconditionally, and are there for you even still...
This isn't to create a licence for us to do limitless and/or injurious ranting and raving, I'm just saying ..those who love you unconditionally, even when you may rant and rave, at times, in moderation and/or for understandable reasons.

Rosie G.

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