Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Exec functioning double whammy overlaps ...

*Disclaimer A*

Out of all the things I didn't manage to lose ...even sunglasses... the only thing I lost was my "fight like a zebra" and "ask me about EDS" pins. Sort of a priceless loss...Uggh. I went to take them off one shirt, and put them on another, and as usual since my brains' always fighting to move and hold its body together, I blank out and don't execute the "next step."

I'm now clear on why I have a lot of challenges that seem like a person with a "bright person but with a brain injury" (this is one notch above "absent minded professor actually - it's absent minded professor who *needs* assistant or will not be able to hack it here) ie. motor planning/organization and short term memory #‎itsnotaseasyasitlooks #‎peoplehavenoideaabouttherealstruggle ...
and I'm not actually referring to the autistic wiring of my thinking patterns. There's an overlap here, 

So lines get blurred, but these parts are illness related neurological issues, albeit how an autistically wired brain might cope with that - I'm sure of it. I've just been reluctant to talk about it not wanting people to think I'm trying to say "autism is a disease" and all this. Well whatever. Not talking about autism per se, actually. Talking about my illness' neuro affects. I will not be screamed "curebie" at for that, by radical, internalized-ableist-attitude autistic community people who have no idea what it's like to live with EDS. Sorry, nope! Anyways ...

Forgetting, blanking out on steps, it happened many times during the trip but of course - I sometimes catch myself on it, and if I don't - well thats y I bring a friend. Ask Mary Freebed how bad it was, frazzled-ness. Walking the line re: a crash too. Eff this brain ; / ! This is not on. It's just me really maxed out re: fighting to cope and push forward.


But that morning we were rushing to pack up so - super annoyed about losing my pins! I don't know where the pins came from actually, because they were given to me at the EDS get together last week. I don't have the means to order them right now. But I sure will, once I can .. ; /

-Rosie G. 

No comments:

Post a Comment